Sunday 1 October 2017


© Denis Fitzpatrick, 2015

‘But Jesus called unto him, and said, Suffer little children to come unto me, and forbid them not: for such is the kingdom of God.’ Luke 18:16, KJV

Reality is ultimately circular. ULTIMATELY, as Joshua Andrew Devine’s first Technical Drawing teacher would say. Ms Templeton always started off a new set of pupils by saying that anything can be drawn using curves and straight lines. Thus, Reality is ultimately circular. The base then is a straight line. This then, more or less, gives the Greek letter ‘Omega.’ Where then, thought Joshua, is the necessarily balancing ‘Alpha’? Joshua has since had this question answered when voices (that only he is able to hear) told him that he is “The First True Alpha.”
     Joshua had become homeless at the age of eighteen, currently aged twenty-one, because of these voices, whom had woken him up one bright morning at the start of Aus’ 2012 mild summer. He had awoken with androgynous voices telling him that his life was in danger, that he was “The One,” and that he had to leave his parents’ house now. He trusted the voices (after all he could clearly hear them) and left the family nest after packing a few clothes and some bread in a bag. It was a decision that he never really regretted, having the voices to keep him company, and also to assure him that he is indeed “The First True Alpha.”
     Recently finding an abandoned newborn babe Joshua similarly felt was further proof of his Divine nature. After all wasn’t Moses’ life saved by being cast among the Nile River reeds? ‘Yes,’ said the voices, ‘and thus you too have now a chance to establish greatness.’
     Joshua found the babe hidden among some bushes in a small park in Redferne, early in the morning, before dawn, having espied the wrapped bundle and approaching it thinking it was a pile of hidden cash. He was very surprised indeed to see it was a young baby. A quiet baby, who uttered no protest when Joshua picked her up. Joshua knew it was a girl as the babe was dressed in pink.
     Holding the babe in his arms Joshua knew he was not at all capable of looking after her, that she must be surrendered to more capable people. He also saw the discovery as a sign that there were others, inconceivably, more important than ‘The First True Alpha.’ At least The True Alpha could look after himself, more or less, but here was a more important bundle, completely dependent upon the goodwill of strangers for its survival. Joshua decided to take her over to his only friend’s place, Timothy LaGrange, who could not only rescue the babe but show Joshua how the babe could similarly save Joshua, guiding him to shape his Divine nature. Joshua felt that he was very much rescuing another Moses, a counterpart to ‘The First True Alpha.’
     ‘Of course the baby is more important than you,’ said Timothy after they both sat down in the living room for Joshua to unburden himself. ‘You’re just a dero, J., but here is a bundle of pure potential. Here, you hold her while I ring for an ambulance.’
     The ambulance arrived in five minutes and in the meanwhile Timothy tried to show Joshua that even the abandoned girl was better off than him.
     ‘You think you’re crucial to Reality, J., but whenever have you ever done anything that got you applauded in the news, hailed as a hero?’
     ‘I work in secret, Tim. My every breath justifies Reality, gives it hope that there is indeed a fundamental meaning to life.’
     ‘Crap, J. None of my friends ever mention you as a saviour, in fact the few times that they do talk of you it is to disparage you. You’re not crucial at work, no-one desperately needing you to solve their problems. You’re just a dero, J., and the sooner you realise that the better it’ll be for you.’
     ‘Well, it was my homelessness that saved this babe. If it weren’t for me she could well have died horribly.’
     ‘Yeah but, J., if you got off the streets you could do some volunteer work with children, maybe work at Bernado’s. Then you’d save even more children. God knows Bernado’s need all the help they can get in protecting children.’
     Joshua was mildly stunned and he continued the conversation along these lines while the ambulance people collected the abandoned babe and checked her out. Joshua was soon thinking that Timothy had made a very good point indeed. Maybe that was the point of being ‘The First True Alpha’: to dedicate his life to protecting his younger brothers and sisters the world over. Maybe Joshua could eradicate child abuse permanently, giving a real definition to the ‘True’ in his magickal title.
     When the paramedics left Joshua continued exploring this newfound realisation with his only friend.
     ‘You might be right after all, Tim, maybe The First True Alpha is meant to look after the young. There’s no point in being so powerful if it isn’t meant to be put to good use.’
     ‘Firstly, you’re not powerful, J., you’re just a wreck who doesn’t believe that the voices only he can hear aren’t real. But secondly, maybe this babe is indeed a sign, a sign that you will be only happy in looking after the frail of the world.’ Joshua smiled, briefly imagining such positive influence.
     ‘Maybe, Tim, very well maybe I’d like to work in protecting children. The noble path I’ve been unknowingly looking for. There’s a problem though, a problem in getting off the streets and beginning the path.’
     ‘What’s the problem?’
     ‘I experienced child abuse when I was about six or seven. Nothing too serious, mind you, just a teacher who kept me after class for about a week in a row and looked down my pants to stare at my penis.’
     ‘How did that happen?’
     ‘I came to school one day not wearing underwear and while we were all sitting around listening to a story my penis fell out. The teacher told me to put it back in and close my legs more. And then every day after that, for about a week, after class and everybody had left, she would look down my shorts to see if I was wearing underwear. I was wearing undies by this time but the teacher still wanted to see my penis.’
     ‘I’m sorry, Joshua.’
     ‘Like I said it was only mild abuse. The point is though since I’ve experienced such abuse am I safe to work with children? After all most paedophiles are themselves the victims of abuse, setting up a vicious cycle.’ Here he paused and looked down at his bare, dirty feet. ‘It would be nice to think that I could stop all such abuse.’
     ‘Well, J., I don’t know the exact answer, that’s something that can only be answered, I think, by a psychiatrist. But if you really want to volunteer at Bernado’s, or work anywhere in child advocacy, you will definitely need to consult a psychiatrist. You should have seen a psychiatrist years ago anyway about those voices you hear.’
     What Timothy had just said sounded very reasonable to Joshua but he was still hesitant to come off the streets and lose the complete freedom he’d discovered there.
     ‘If I came off the streets though I’d have to pay rent to the Man. And I’d be justifying the sin of private property.’
     ‘That’s true, J., and I don’t like the Man any more than you do. But the good work you’d do would surely counterbalance “justifying the sin of private property.” The good may well far outweigh the sin, with the net result of complete goodness.’
     Again Timothy had a point. It was great having such a level headed friend.

     In fact Timothy had such a good point that Joshua there and then decided to move off the streets. He asked Timothy if he could move in with him for a short while until he had basically got his act together. Timothy was absolutely delighted to be able to thus help and together they found him a room in a boarding house within the week. Joshua then found a psychiatrist that billed under the Aus Medicare system and now plans to make enquiries about volunteering at Bernado’s after he has attended three consults. He sees his future as nothing but rosy, helping young minds to similarly experience a rosy future. Timothy likewise sees Joshua’s future as rosy.


If you have been enjoying Fitzpatrick's stories here you may also enjoy his short story collections, and other books, available online as both Kindle books and paperbacks (go to Other ebook and paperback options are available at Fitzpatrick is also having a collection of short stories, Aberrant Selected, published by Waldorf Publishing in 2018. You can follow its journey at

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